fabulously broke, week 1.

SO, we're at day 3 of officially starting my new york life (that is, im actually living in the city). no more hanging in connecticut with my best friend (it was more of a vacay), now its vicious hard work time. i've been feeling the pressure like never before. i mean, I HAVE AN APARTMENT- how do i pay for it with no job? how do i pay for food let alone the necessary furnishings? i mean don't get me wrong, i can do with a blow-up bed in my room and one pan in the kitchen...but it just feels like im scraping the bottom. with no heat in my room, i learned the first night it would be impossible to sleep in there until i have a portable heater. so i've made friends with our $25 couch, since the living room has a toasty heater. drew found theeee comfiest $25 bargain ever- full size couch & armoir too. our living room is feeling quite homey, as is our half bath. my room looks naked, but its okay...it'll all come with time. this weekend im picking up a loft bed i found on craigslist, despite drew picking up the air mattress and enacting what it will look like with a full bed up high, "juvenile" he said. whatever, i need the room below for, oh, i dont know, hanging my clothes maybe?? seeing as we have no closets and clothes hanging in the kitchen isn't exactly ideal. anyways, with the apartment slowly coming along, i'm left with a day job of finding a job- and this is where we're met with my biggest nightmare. the job is starting to sound like a magical fairytale land...like i'll never find it! i had another meltdown (surprising...not) with my mother- i dont know what to dooooo!!! i yell at her. i think she's secretly scared ill start stripping to make ends meet. too much girating involved, my knees are bad. i apply for aaaany job i think i can do, nannying (picking up the rich crumb-snatchers from school & making them din type of thing), events promotional models, dog walking, while watching a cheesy commercial yesterday i even considered doing commercials. it doesnt help having my roommate come home every day and roll his eyes at me as he asks what i did all day. "i played solitaire & painted my nails, andrew" its not easy! i made the trek to barnes & noble this afternoon- soo here we go, job hunt day 3. taking out the what-if-i-dont-find-one-and-die thoughts from my mind and starting fresh! (it's like telling yourself you can work a shitty haircut you just got. the truth is, it sucks & you just have to WAIT.)