home of that boy biggie.

BROOKLYN. my new home. finally made the move today, and as exciting as it always is to me when i face something new...its also hard to stop feeling a little melancholy. its not easy to uproot yourself after making a little safe haven for yourself called "home." however, its change that keeps me challenged and i do love facing a challenge. sure, i might only be two stops outside of manhattan on the L train, but it feels like miles and miles and miles away to me. its like a whole new world over here- a residential one i havent ever been subjected to since moving to new york 6 years ago. my familiar routines are all off now, and i have an entirely new and different neighborhood to get to know. as i lay in my bed, which, just this morning was still in my upper east side apartment, i feel like a little puppy in a new home. a little scared, a little anxious, and very excited. who knows whats to come. stay tuned for my BK adventures.

help me, self-help.

as i curl into bed, showered and lotioned up, i'm ready to reach for a book and wind down. sadly, or strangely, all four books i'm simultaneously reading have one thing in common: they belong in the SELF-HELP section at Borders. okay, so one quarter doesnt; one of them is a biography of none other than ms. wintour, but the rest really classify as "i'm lame idk how to live my life" books. oddly, doesnt bother me one bit! i spent sunday afternoon with a good friend of mine and as we discussed our current life situations, men (boys i should say), work, friends, etc, i remembered a quote from one of my "SH" books and recited it to her. half from memory, half from the excerpt i had actually taken the time to type into my iphone notepad. "wow" she said, "can you send that to me?" of course, i went on to rave about the fabulous SH book i had copped from work and we got into the topic of my reading choices. HEY, i figure, IM READING. its a positive step. well it turns out, im not alone. she hands me a book, "here- you should have this." what was the book she handed me? "Meeting Your Half-Orange." or as it translates from the originally spanish phrase "tu media naranja." as the title states "an utterly upbeat guide to using dating optimism to find your perfect match." really? i thought. but, simultaneously, i excitedly took it from her. YAY, another book to teach me what i dont already know! pathetic. but i love it. time to indulge in some self help. because, really, dont we all want to help ourselves?

"Before you speak, listen. Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait. Before leaving, try."

my baby.

i've missed you. between a day job, a side job, seeking a part-time job, and apartment hunting...time has been scarce. the side job being this amazing fashion project to which i feel incredibly tied to. please check it out! it's amazing how much creativity it has sparked from me already. i work hand in hand with the founder of both the online retailer (FINT) and the actual blog and boy has it been a great chance experience running into such an individual in the midst of such a crazy little island. i'm so ready for the opportunities, that i bump into them at Borders while getting a copy of SuperRich signed by Mr. Simmons.

anyways, big news. i'm moving out of my beloved (1 year old as of Feb 1) apartment on the UES - thats upper east side for the Cali folk - and seeking a new pad to call home. currently on the market, another UES room, a brooklyn room, possibly a midtown room...and thats just with the friends i know of so far. lets not even touch on craigslist because with prices being so high, i might just end up with a stranger in harlem. keeping the eyes peeled for a great apartment to move into is like a full time job in and of itself, but like i always have to stop and tell myself "one step at a time." i have a problem with trying to solve an entire jigsaw puzzle 50 pieces at a time instead of focusing on a corner to start with.

the second (part-time) job is still a hunt as well. yesterday after filling out a few applications, on foot, in the times square area i realized it might be even harder than i thought. its competition here and who, tell me WHO, in Manhattan isn't looking for a hostessing gig on the side to make ends meet? my only solace? perhaps knowing im not alone. (if i had to look at the bright side, we're all broke here)

so what is bringing me comfort at night even though i have nothing set in concrete and (pretty much all) aspects of my lfie are in a tizzy? (you can tell i work at Parents magazine...tizzy?) gratitude. because gratitude limits neediness. when you're thankful for what you have, it limits what you need. tonight i have a home, i have a job, i have food, i have clothes, i have my health, and far away but still ever so present, i have family. what's more, i have passion for everything i'm doing right now. passion for my writing, (hello i scored a SWEET interview with a fashion industry professional AND my first editorial pitch for a 1,000 article in PRINT) passion for the opportunities i know are around the corner and passion for living here. in this stupid, expensive ass, amazing, beautiful city. as long as i wake up every day, i'm happy. because the things i don't like about life, i can change...slowly but surely it's all changing.

because i spent so much of January incredibly sick, i've made a habit of turning off my alarm clock and meditating every morning for just a minute and a half before i even get out of bed and let my feet touch the floor. my meditational thoughts, in order, "thank you jesus for waking me up, thank you that i have a job to go to this morning, thank you for my health and family, please keep me safe and help me remember all the things i have to be thankful for today."

S S S & M M M