my baby.

i've missed you. between a day job, a side job, seeking a part-time job, and apartment hunting...time has been scarce. the side job being this amazing fashion project to which i feel incredibly tied to. please check it out! it's amazing how much creativity it has sparked from me already. i work hand in hand with the founder of both the online retailer (FINT) and the actual blog and boy has it been a great chance experience running into such an individual in the midst of such a crazy little island. i'm so ready for the opportunities, that i bump into them at Borders while getting a copy of SuperRich signed by Mr. Simmons.

anyways, big news. i'm moving out of my beloved (1 year old as of Feb 1) apartment on the UES - thats upper east side for the Cali folk - and seeking a new pad to call home. currently on the market, another UES room, a brooklyn room, possibly a midtown room...and thats just with the friends i know of so far. lets not even touch on craigslist because with prices being so high, i might just end up with a stranger in harlem. keeping the eyes peeled for a great apartment to move into is like a full time job in and of itself, but like i always have to stop and tell myself "one step at a time." i have a problem with trying to solve an entire jigsaw puzzle 50 pieces at a time instead of focusing on a corner to start with.

the second (part-time) job is still a hunt as well. yesterday after filling out a few applications, on foot, in the times square area i realized it might be even harder than i thought. its competition here and who, tell me WHO, in Manhattan isn't looking for a hostessing gig on the side to make ends meet? my only solace? perhaps knowing im not alone. (if i had to look at the bright side, we're all broke here)

so what is bringing me comfort at night even though i have nothing set in concrete and (pretty much all) aspects of my lfie are in a tizzy? (you can tell i work at Parents magazine...tizzy?) gratitude. because gratitude limits neediness. when you're thankful for what you have, it limits what you need. tonight i have a home, i have a job, i have food, i have clothes, i have my health, and far away but still ever so present, i have family. what's more, i have passion for everything i'm doing right now. passion for my writing, (hello i scored a SWEET interview with a fashion industry professional AND my first editorial pitch for a 1,000 article in PRINT) passion for the opportunities i know are around the corner and passion for living here. in this stupid, expensive ass, amazing, beautiful city. as long as i wake up every day, i'm happy. because the things i don't like about life, i can change...slowly but surely it's all changing.

because i spent so much of January incredibly sick, i've made a habit of turning off my alarm clock and meditating every morning for just a minute and a half before i even get out of bed and let my feet touch the floor. my meditational thoughts, in order, "thank you jesus for waking me up, thank you that i have a job to go to this morning, thank you for my health and family, please keep me safe and help me remember all the things i have to be thankful for today."