shoots & ladders.

SO work has officially begun on my very first photo shoot. i am working with a talented fashion photographer (and fellow FIT alumn) on some portfolio shots and i am beyond excited. after connecting with her and reaching out to our networks for clothes, models, shoes, jewelry (check out the super fun pieces we'll be borrowing from here) etc., we are hoping to shoot our first "whimsical, romantic fall" shoot by next weekend. its such good experience to be gained- im slowly beginning to realize i do actually have a team here and its great to be able to reach out to them. i have friends who work for big fashion houses, i have models i've interviewed for FINT which i can reach out to, and now i can add a photographer to my growing network, just as she can add me to her network as a stylist. its amazing what becoming involved in a project can do for you- suddenly i am reinforced. i am not just an aspiring writer- i write. i am not an aspiring stylist- i style. and sure, it might not be for a major print publication (right now..) but im still building key skills and actively working in a field i am so passionate about. i love it. fire is burning once again! photos TK (which is magazine short-hand for "to come")...

valley of the deep plateaus

there is something about running that puts this little voice on megaphone blast in your head. you can suddenly hear so clearly "stop, you can't do this anymore. you're gonna die! no seriously, stop. just stop right here, give up." and somehow when you keep pushing past that voice, you CAN achieve what you and that little voice in your head thought was impossible. every time i hit the track, i'm reminded of what i need to push past in my daily life. i'm reminded that that little voice lives in me all the time and i need to ignore it....because in the end, it's worth it. i can always come out on top if i try hard enough. i need to try harder. so i've decided to stop this vicious cycle of self pity and confused-ness. a list of positive things for me to remember follows.

1. i DO love my dreams.
2. i AM willing to work hard to make them a reality.
3. i DESERVE good things.
4. i also deserve to be LOVED by GOOD people.
5. i am TOTALLY capable of achieving my goals. each. and. every. last. one.
6. i am BEAUTIFUL.
7. again, i am FULL of BEAUTY.
8. i have a GREAT smile that deserves to be shared every day.
9. im really good at making friends. REALLY good.
10. when i feel alone, my FRIENDS are there for me. i can always count on them.
11. i am STRONG.
12. i will get everything i want....IN DUE TIME.
13. there IS a man out there who will fill that really huge small void i feel.
14. i am GREAT at making people laugh.
15. i have pretty nails. and that DOES count.