march on.

they say when you try and fail, you should fail again and fail better. i agree.

you can't live life afraid to fail, but sometimes that fear is entirely too overwhelming to make progress. when that happens, i stop. i stand still and i listen to my heart. i hear my fears, i harness them and i do my best to find the strength to combat those fears. this process can take a while. i let it.

this year has felt so much longer than 3 months. it feels like i've been through so much within the first two months alone that it's almost incredible we're not in june already. january i was so high, february i was so low and now, i'm happy to finally be finding myself again. i guess the only way i can sum it up is: the boat got rocked. it's finally leveled out though, and im feeling much better about moving forward.

this month i get to fly home for a week, in 18 days actually...and i simply can't wait. it's been 6 months since i was last home with my family- thats like when you've driven your car so far without gas that the light is BRIGHT RED. ive been running on empty since a couple of months back, so this trip will refuel me and give me the energy i need to keep fighting. amazing what family can do for you. thats all we really have, when it comes down to it. family.

anyways, at this point im trying to be grateful for experiences i've had, whether good or bad or like my most recent experience, incredibly good and bad. bittersweet, if you will. why? why do i want to focus on being grateful? because, what is my alternative? i figure if i can't find gratitude and peace i'll be left with a feeling of failure and anger. everyone has suffered little downfalls, slip ups, failures...the difference is how we react to them. some people let these bumps in the road turn them into bitter, lonely, pessimistic souls. others, build on these experiences, learn, grow and live happily because of it. a or b. those are the only two options.

i choose b. moving forward and advancing.

"there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind" -c.s. lewis